Fuck You, Pay Me: The Impacts of FOSTA-SESTA on Sex Workers’ Rights — Perspective of a FSSW/SB.

This piece will be part of a larger series that explores the impacts of the FOSTA-SESTA legislation on various sex workers.

I recommend that you read my previous piece on FOSTA-SESTA according to a Pro Domme, before reading the following interview.

If you’ve been reading this series, you will know that this particular legislation has greatly affected sex workers’ rights in the US, however, it has now started to bleed into Canada as well. Being that I live in Canada, I have seen most of these effects online as many in the industry use American-owned social media and online platforms to market their services.

I corresponded with a FSSW/SB (Full Service Sex Worker/Sugar Baby) about their experiences online and in the industry. At the request of the individual, they will remain anonymous.

How were you first introduced to sugaring, and what made you decide to start sex work?

As weird as it sounds – Instagram! I had always been interested in sex work but never knew how to get into it. It seemed so elusive and I didn’t know anyone who could help me. I followed a few sex workers on Instagram who offered advice and it got me on the right track. My very first meet and greet with a sugar daddy was meeting for quick drinks to see if we vibed. I wasn’t expecting any payment for that but he handed me $400 without me even asking or bringing up money. It felt like electricity through my body. After that I was hooked.

What challenges, if any, have you noticed in the way clients can access your services, especially with the emergence of increased censorship online (ie. Instagram) and the SESTA/FOSTA legislation? What are your views on the legislation in general and decriminalization versus legalization?

Because I am Canadian I have been affected less than my fellow sex workers in the US. We did lose a lot of our online advertising platforms (backpage, Craigslist, etc) but I started sex work after FOSTA/SESTA so I never felt the full impact. I can see how it can make it harder to find clients or screen them safely.

When it comes down to legalization vs. decriminalizing sex work, decriminalizing is much more appealing because there are no legal rules around what is ok. If it’s legalized the government can say “but only under these (sure to be oppressive) conditions.” If it is decriminalized people can have sex with money involved and it’s no one else’s business.

What is the favourite part of your job?

I love the confidence that sex work has given me. I carry myself differently and men notice. Even when I’m not dressed to the nines in a full face I can see the way men are lured to my energy and that is incredibly empowering. It has also taught me a lot about my own personal boundaries. I know exactly what I want and it’s easy to walk away from anything less than that. I’ve learned if one man won’t give me what I want another one will, and that principle now applies to all areas of my life.

How do you think your work contributes to the reclamation of female sexuality in public spaces?

We constantly hear that women are objectified — that is put on us. The truth is that we live in a culture of men who are raised to be objectifiers; it is their attitude, not ours, that makes us out to be objects. Sex work takes that power back. As a sex worker I can say, hey, you want to objectify me? Not for free! I now have turned the table.

Anything else you’d like folks to know about your work as a SWer?

Sex work is not all glamour and it’s not easy. It’s not only about having sex either. Most of my time as a sex worker is spent marketing, making content, learning business skills, and sorting through hundreds of potential dates to maybe only find a dozen. Not all sex workers have the same privileges either. As a white sex worker I have it very easy compared to BIPOC or transgender sex workers who face oppression on many, many levels. Sex work is much more dangerous for them and they have a much harder time getting help when they need it.

Anonymous FSSW/SB

With love,

B.

Image via: AURORE (@readaurore)

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